You Don’t Become a Lesser Man for Earning Less

Our ego need not shatter and our manliness doesn’t take a back seat if we earn less than our ladylove

Social studies say that families can breakup regardless of whether the man or the lady in family is the breadwinner. The other side of the coin was that families where the lady of the house earned more remained stable and were less likely to fall apart.

The problem is that a lower earning man challenges society’s historical practices. It may make the man feel he’s a lesser being. Happily enough, that’s an exception, not the norm. These are the issues that are likely to crop up.

For the majority for families with a higher earning woman at the helm, the relationship doesn’t take a knock. The man brings home a source of income that’s enough to look after his needs. Moreover, he has the opportunity to use his income to boost the family finances. If that’s the scenario, there are fewer arguments.

If partners with different incomes stay apart it might not create problems. It poses a challenge when they decide to share a common space. Most couples prefer to work out a money pooling pact. The responsibilities are clearly defined. The woman (higher earner) can take care of rent, taxes and insurance (the bigger liabilities) while the man chips in with household expenses and utilities. Investments become shared decisions.

Differing attitude towards expenses and the way expenses are individually handled can generate conflict. One partner may be keen on investing for the long-term and may be fighting with the other who wants to live life extravagantly. Men can nip such issues in the bud by assuming financial responsibility for the funds that are pooled for the benefit of the family.

In a society where norms are changing by the day, a stay at home dad is a workable idea. Many men say they were never aware that they had in intuitive grasp for house work, cooking and child rearing (among other things) until it was thrust upon them. The arrangement enables the higher earner to successfully pursue a demanding career without having to look over her shoulder.

The teasing co-worker is a perennial problem for men that earn less than their ladies. Men who have gone through the good natured ribbing say it was trying initially. The joke ceased to take effect when workers sensed that the partners were bonding well and the family remained stable. These men laughingly say they ended up getting a lot of support from their former teasers.

Last but not the least is the nagging sense of financial inequality that bugs men earning less money. Respondents in a survey stated that they coped by becoming more involved in financial decisions. They focused more on securing the family’s future. Women who earn more admire the man who takes control of the home situation and kick starts planning that benefits the family.